Sunday, December 27, 2009

The End of Another Year

This year brought challenges, losses, wins and beginnings, stronger commitments and a sense of gratitude for what is. We learn how to make the challenge of not having a car work for us. Now, we don't think about getting a car so much! We had the dream of living a more self-sustaining lifestyle and living within our community. When we spoke about this dream we had no idea of how we could still have a car and go beyond our addiction to having a car. Loosing the car was a blessing, though for a long time we did not see that blessing. We ride our bikes everywhere, we save the environment in our small way, we get exercise, we see the beauty around us and notice our beautiful mother earth is.
This year has also been about losses. I love my life and all the blessings I have, even not having a car, but with those blessings, losses have come too. Not having a car has caused me to also loose some friends and loose the connection with other friends. This has been a very hard thing for me. I love my friends and feel like I have been given a gift, every time I get or still have a friend. I have started a new morning affirmation, I am grateful for all the connections of all my life; be for a moment, a year or a lifetime. I tend to think about people always being in my life and feel ,so sad when they are not. Saying this affirmation has helped me to be present to what is now! I have met some very special people in my community that are now my friends. I feel that things are coming full circle and I am coming to a place of peace, acceptance and gratitude.
I have also lost my dad. I have peace about who he was. I miss the relationship I wish we could of had, dreamt of having and hoped to come when we got older. I have been given a gift of feeling those who have passed around me. The death of my dad has cause a lot of healing of the relationship we didn't have. Now at those time when I feel upset or fearful I feel him holding my hand, just like a dad would do with his little girl. I feel this is healing for us, for the relationship that was. Before his death, I didn't want to see I was like him, now I see parts of him that are mine now.
When we moved here 9 1/2 years ago, we came from a place where everyone knew us; the health store, the library, the bank, the grocery store, coffee shop and everything in between. Moving here was a hard transition. We longed for the type of community we came from. Now, we are finding that community. Like the saying goes; Bloom where you are Planted ,we have taken this be our motto. We are now a part of our community, though we like to have a bit of autonomy, we love being a active part of our community.
We have found belly dancing and community yoga, having found these has transformed our lives. Autumne and I have taken belly dancing classes. I see this empowering her in her power as a woman. I hope that she will always see her beauty, as beauty is not what is external told to us, but an acceptance of herself as she is!
This class has helped me too, thanks to my dear friend, Jean for telling us about it! I have gained a acceptance and love for my body and womanhood. It has also given me a sense of community within a group of women, about empowerment and acceptance.
I having found Community Yoga has given me a sense of community and sacredness that I need in my life. Community Yoga is a special place. The energy is so calm and sacred. I found a yoga studio that resonates with me on a deeply and profound way.

Thanks for everyone for making this year, for us a year of growth and healing. Thanks for touching our lives in countless ways, for loving us, for accepting us and being there. Y'all make a difference. Little connections and big connections have made huge and profound difference in our lives thank you!

1 comment:

Gina Smith said...

Your lifestyle is inspiring, Tam! Happy New Year!